I originally posted this poem as a comment to The System, but then I thought it merits a post of its own. It mirrors my story and how I reflected on it after reading HF’s rant and call for action.
It starts by telling how I resent being born into the caste I did. It makes the simile to a captured tiger whose feelings progress form rage to self-pity and finally to ultimate gloom.
Next, I tell how I was confined to a prison within a prison. I bemoan my arranged and early marriage and that I wasn’t given the opportunity to conduct an earnest search for my soul mate. I make the simile to a parrot envious of humans who find meaning in what they talk and don’t just mimic. Similarly, I’m sad that our union is merely staged and lacking a passionate bond.
Finally, I express my belief that I’m too entrenched to change. I’ll probably remain where I don’t belong for the rest of my life. But I want my children to be happy, so I will not indoctrinate them with any dogma or deny them freedom of exploration. If they will decide to remain Hassidic, then so be it. If they decide to leave, I’ll support them. However, I’ll have to feign being heartbroken by their rebellion. I make the simile to a salve too old for escape, but who will gladly buy his children a ticket to the Underground Railroad.
I’m trapped like a tiger in cage
Filled with rage
With pity, with gloom
Who confined me here
And why
From the moment I walked earth
From the moment of birth
From the moment conceived in womb
Why to this family appear
I cry
I’m trapped like a parrot in pen
I stare at all the men
Who chose themselves a mate
Why my basic right
They denied
Why haven’t I fled
But listened to them instead
You’re nineteen, you’re late
Why have I accepted without fight
My bride
I’m trapped like an old slave
I’ll not leave but for my grave
I want a better life for you, child
Be different, be smart
My boy
One day in years, years ahead
Gossipers will whisper you’ve fled
You listened to the call of the wild
I’ll mourn after you with a heart
Full of joy
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"Next, I tell how I was confined to a prison within a prison. I bemoan my arranged and early marriage and that I wasn’t given the opportunity to conduct an earnest search for my soul mate. I make the simile to a parrot envious of humans who find meaning in what they talk and don’t just mimic. Similarly, I’m sad that our union is merely staged and lacking a passionate bond."
ReplyDeleteWow. Seriously? I didn't know anything about your life story. This is really sad. How old were you when you got married? Do you really have to be in an unhappy place for the rest of your life? Isn't there any way out?
Wow, really touching.
ReplyDeleteI especially liked how you describe the three stages of captivity. The tiger, the parrot and the old slave. First anger ("Filled with rage") then surrender ("I stare at all the men") and finally acceptance ("I’ll not leave but for my grave"). The imagery is great.
The introduction was really good. perhaps you should try more of poetic writing. For example, the image of a parrot longing to understand words like people, was stronger expressed in your prose.
I really liked the analogy to the parrot. It shows how we can all have the same things superficially, but the basis of its value can sometimes be missing.
I found these lines by the famed French poet Charles Baudelaire, I thought you might like it:
ReplyDeleteThe Poet is a kinsman in the clouds
Who scoffs at archers, loves a stormy day;
But on the ground, among the hooting crowds,
He cannot walk, his wings are in the way.
(Charles Baudelaire, "The Flowers of Evil")
The system is horrible to make you go into an arranged marriage :-( Do you find that your husband is mean to you? Do you believe your real love out there waiting for you?
ReplyDeleteHello, EJ. Good to see a new face around.
ReplyDeleteActually, the husband is myself, and I'm not mean at all. And yes, the system is horrible.